I have always been a romantic: my husband, not so much. While my idea of romance is loads of candle light, incense and lace, my husband’s idea of romance is two 300-pound linebackers patting each other on the behind as they run the ball down a muddy field, as he sits sipping Coca-Cola in his underwear.

Case in point, on our first wedding anniversary while my fantasies turned to lace teddies, diamonds or even chocolate, he bought me a four-slice toaster. When I mentioned that we had received three as wedding presents (how much toast did folks think we ate) two of which I returned for something else, my beloved feeling pleased as punch, replied that this one was much better as it toasted four slices instead of two. He thought that he was making my cooking chores easier. How could that be wrong? 

On our second anniversary I received a portable blender with multiple speeds that I had seen on television and mentioned that it seemed nice. After all you know what they say, blenders and mixers are like men. You always think you need one, you just don’t know why.  Not completely thrilled with his gift choices, I nevertheless kept silent until all of my appliances were complete. However enough was enough. Where was the romance, the lingerie, tickets to the theater, the swinging from chandeliers of which others spoke?
Ask anyone who is more romantic, women or men and many will say women are more romantic. Others will say men. Some say that the desire for romance is in a woman’s nature. Emotionally men and women often have different needs. Multiple studies seem to suggest that women may be genetically and socially conditioned to be more romantic or to expect romance. Our trying to understand the sexes is the reason that such books such as Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus and my own book, The Venus Chronicles are so successful.

Granted, men have been known to use romance to win the affection and favor of their women when they want to. They will whisper sweet nothings in their loved one ear, bring flowers or other gifts when they want a steak or s-e-x.

So what is this concept called romance? What things signify a romantic gesture? For some romance is a grand gesture. A horse-drawn carriage ride around a park; rose petals thrown all over the bed, or a diamond the size of an orange. For others it may be eating a fast-food salad on the good china with your special someone, or holding your spouse’s or lover’s hand. 

A romantic gesture may also be as simple as a compliment. In deed, compliments are much like icing on your favorite cake. Too smooth or too slick and it slides right off. Too sweet and it can be sickening where one bite is one too many. Cake without frosting is well, pound cake. Tasty, but missing something:  much like a relationship without romance.  Simply stated, being romantic means creating the special moments that touch each other’s souls.